Christian Refuses to Marry a Muslim, Threatened by Family

“My family told me that I had dishonored and shamed the family so badly that they would rather I had become a prostitute. Shortly after this, my brother was murdered. My family and the Muslim leaders said it happened because I cursed the family by accepting Christ, so they beat me.”

Miriam was the most devout Muslim in her family until she met Jesus. And as soon as she began following Him, her family began to harass and pressure her. Though no one in her family was very devout, they felt that Miriam had abandoned their Central Asian cultural identity and brought shame on the family. “Don’t follow that Russian god,” they scolded. “We are Muslims!”

But God’s love and forgiveness had won her heart.

Marry a Muslim to “Fix the Problem”

Miriam’s family was eager for her to marry, hoping that a Muslim husband would “fix the problem.” They suggested various men, but Miriam turned them all down because they were Muslims. She knew it was biblically wrong for her to marry an unbeliever, and she also knew how Muslim men treated their wives in her country. In one incident, the Muslim husband of a recent Christian convert called his wife on her cellphone while she was at church and said he needed to speak with her. When she stepped outside the church to speak with him, he knocked her to the ground, kicked her and left her lying on the steps of the church. The man was never punished.

Miriam continued to refuse the men her family suggested, and finally they threatened to lock her in an apartment with the man they had chosen — a recent graduate of an Islamic school.

“I prayed for a Christian husband, which seemed impossible because there are almost no Christians here,” she said. “My refusal to marry a Muslim infuriated my parents. My older brother beat me and then went to attack my pastor.”

After beating the pastor, Miriam’s brother came home and put a knife to her throat. He tried to force her to deny Christ. “I would not deny Christ, and I really thought he was going to kill me,” she said.

Miriam’s mother then kicked her out of the house, accusing her of causing too much fighting in the family. A relative allowed Miriam to stay with her on the condition that she stop sharing the gospel. But Miriam couldn’t help but talk about Jesus, and she led her relative’s two children to Christ.

As she continued to share the gospel with others, Miriam eventually met the man who would become her husband.

Marrying the Chief “Kafir”

They were from enemy ethnic groups. She was from a wealthy family, and he had little. The Muslim faith was important to her family, but his family never went to the mosque. The one thing they had in common was a strong faith in God and the common goal to reach their nation for Christ. Upon their marriage, Basit and Miriam became a leading force for growing the church in Central Asia.

“Our God united Basit and me, though we are from enemy cultures,” Miriam said. Her family was so angry about the marriage that the couple had to elope. They had offered to help her start a business, rent her an apartment and get her a car if only she would give up Christianity and abandon her marriage plans. She told them she wouldn’t leave Jesus for a million dollars.

Instead of a comfortable life and fellowship with her family, Miriam chose a life that is materially and emotionally difficult but spiritually rich. Her husband is known in their overwhelmingly Muslim community as the chief kafir, or unclean unbeliever. Basit struggles to provide for his family because few will hire a Christian. But the family is committed to staying in the community to share Christ. VOM helps with their living expenses so they can continue their important front-line ministry of helping grow the church in their country.

“Give Us Another Day”

Though Miriam and Basit are rejected by their family members and by their community, their focus remains on expanding God’s eternal kingdom. And they are happy to share the gospel with anyone they meet. Basit recalled one incident that resulted in an especially bad beating: “I accidentally shared my faith with a mullah [Islamic religious teacher],” he laughed.

The couple hosts an unregistered, and therefore illegal, house church in their home. (Evangelical churches are never granted registration in their country.) “The church is not a secret,” Basit said. “We invite people to come, though that is very dangerous. There are 20 to 25 people in the house church now; it was 40 to 50 before the persecution got so bad.”

Though most people in the country are Muslim, many are only nominally Muslim and don’t really understand the religion they practice. In recent years, however, Muslims in the region have become more radical. “They are ready to kill for their beliefs now,” Basit said. “I cannot share as openly as before; I need to be more careful. The threat of violence is very real, and we pray at night that Jesus will give us another day tomorrow, because we do not know what will happen tomorrow.”

Miriam and Basit’s two children are mistreated by their peers. It’s difficult for the couple to watch their children suffer because of their Christian faith, but they would much rather they place their hope in Christ than in a religion that makes them feel depressed and sick inside.

While Miriam’s parents would have felt less shame if she had become a prostitute, Miriam was welcomed by a heavenly Father who loves her unconditionally. “My soul is healed, and I feel good,” she said.